Indie Movie

My heart was racing, and my stomach churned all day. The guy i have been taking to for around 2.5 hours each night seince thursday is finally coming home from his vacation. It's monday, and i am picking him up from the airport. Were those conversations real? We opened up so much to each other...but he doesn't really mean what he says...does he? He seems much more genuine than any other guy i have ever met---yet still my stomach churns, and it feel slike i can't breathe. The chain smoking begins. Worry. Fear of being hurt yet ANOTHER time. Aftr roughly a year and a half of hurt, i was finally happy being single... adn then i met him. Paul. The most open, caring, communicative, adorable, sweet man i have ever encountered. He HAD to be too good to be true. Men like that don't exist... they always have alterior motives, at least, that has been my experience...

I was wrong.

As soon as he got off the plane, he walks straight towards me, and in front of everyone, drops his bag, throws his hat off to the side, and kisses me as passionately as anyone ever has. Someone even said behind us, "Whoa, he just threw his hat! Dude, we get it, she's yours..." hahahaha. It was beautiful. I felt like i was in an indie movie. After i picked him up, we went back to his apartment in Cambridge. He put on some music by Otis Redding and pulled me close and slow danced with me int he middle of his living room, holding me as tight as he could without squishing me hahaha. i stayed there until midnight. i never wanetd to leave. He said the most sweet things i have ever heard, and meant it. THAT is the difference--he meant it. and when he kissed me, it wasn't just a physucal kind of thing, it was as if he thought i was dying tomorrow and was getting the last kiss from me he would ever get. He was tender, and loving, and i couldn't help but think this is how tight Jesus must hold us. It was such an overwhelming love i was feeling. I have never felt that way about anyone. Ever.

Needless to say, i still feel like i need to pinch myself. as if this isn't really true. But it is. and i am exponentially happier than i have been in a long time. :)