Love

Yesterday i went to see my friend Janet. She lives at Gordon College, the college i failed out of, lol. It was kinad difficult to go back there...i still feel sort of like a failure seeing all these kids working through school, and the kids i went to school with graduating this year. But my visit was just to see Janet, and to pick up some of the pictures i took of her and her now ex-boyfriend, Austin. It was very good to see her. I haven't seen her in over a year.

So today, as i am at work, i am looking through the 500+ pics i now have of them, and can see how much i have grown as a photographer, and it makes me happy. Because these pictures are not bad i think, but i couuuuld have done better with training. So editing will be fun. :)

Also, as i looked through them, the love written all over their faces made me melt. And it made me think of Easton, the guy i am currently seeing. I haven't had the best of luck with guys...especially since the rape back on december of 2008. It has been a long difficult journey, sprinkled with panic attacks, therapy, and soul searching. I found out i have SO MANY friends who care about me, and what a real elationship is not. 2009 was FAR from easy, or fun, and i wouldn't wish what i went through on anyone, but i am glad i went through what i did--i have learned and grown so much--and in such a way that i don't think i would have learned these things without going through exactly what i wenty through.

But back to Easton lol. He treats me like i am a rare gem. he says the sweetest things to me everyday. treats me with respect, and truly cares about me. I sincerely hope things go well, and that this doesn't end in heartbreak, just as every other "relationship" i have had in the past has ended. I have never been in love.... but i feel like i am falling for him? and he for me? i use question marks because, like i said, i have never been in love. I am so afraid though.... i have been hurt before so many MANY times... i feel like no good guy exists. So far, though, Easton has proved me wrong. I hope and pray this goes well.

That's all for now...i have much hope for 2010 :) <3